Anxious Love

by Cassidy Dickens

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released September 20, 2019

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Cassidy Dickens

Breathing new life into ancient motifs, West Virginian singer songwriter Cassidy Dickens will shatter your heart and stitch you right back up again in the course of a single tune.

Merging the sincerity of folk icons like Patty Griffin with the feminine edge of artists like Alanis Morissette, Cassidy offers a romantic-but-honest perspective on classic subjects like love, home, and nostalgia.
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Track Name: Anxious Love
Anxious Love, trembling heart
Picking everything apart
Weighing every single word
So damn scared to go unheard.

Anxious Love, shaky fingers
Grip your doubts, make them linger
Scratch your head and wonder why
All the best things pass you by.

I know you think you must do it all—
You are strong but weary.
I know how you're tempted to take on
Much more than one should carry.

CHORUS:
But all your crying and doubting and worrying,
All your stressing and rushing and hurrying,
All the praise, the acclaim, and the glory
Won't count for much at the end of your story,
Won't count for much at the end of your story.

Anxious Love, quickening pulse.
You think too much with no results.
'Cause circles lead back to the start,
And you're never happy where you are.

All this time spent keeping up an act—
It's a feat of balance.
Does it get hard to breathe beneath that mask?
Must be quite the challenge.

REPEAT CHORUS

Anxious Love, come hold my hand.
Cancel all your evening plans.
Fold and lay aside your day,
And I will smoothe your furrowed face,

Say, "Anxious Love, it's all okay.
Anxious Love, you are okay."
Track Name: Talk About the Weather
You're making comments on the weather
About whether spring or fall is better,
And I know there was a time we used to talk for hours,
So I'm wondering how it came to this.

Remember how we'd go out driving
Around our old town, barely surviving?
Your old Wrangler groaning with the radio,
But something in its struggle kept our fires lit.

But now all we do is talk about the weather.
You say it's cool how we have still stayed friends,
And I mumble something about how I'm glad I met you,
But that conversation dies where it begins.

Well, time makes strangers out of lovers.
We used to hide under your covers,
Dreaming of the days we'd break and make it bigtime,
But so happy just to have those hours to spend.

But see, the things is, time moves in loops—
And what it gives, it takes away too.
And all those coulda shoulda woulda's start to haunt you,
'Til you have no other choice but calling it quits.

So all we do now is talk about the weather.
I try to make a joke about the old days.
You fake a laugh and say, "This frost is out of season,"
And I nod, 'cause I've got nothing else to say.

You've always been realistic,
And I've got hopes too high to reign in,
So we go back and forth in search of common ground,
And we settle on the only thing that sticks.

But I'm so sick of talking about the weather,
And I'm not sure how you can call this friends,
'Cause it feels just like we have never loved at all,
And every word you say brings back what could have been.

So go ahead, just ask me about the weather.
Ask me if it's raining at my place, too.
I'll mumble something about wishing it was sunny
As a stitch or two pops loose from that old wound.

I'll mumble something about hoping that you're happy.
Well, it's autumn. Guess the snow should be here soon.
Track Name: Heaven On My Mind
I missed you in the summer, honey.
Ain't that how it's supposed to be?
I'm leaving town in time and going
Somewhere that has what I need.
And I can only hope to
Forget your face down this dusty road.
Leaving pieces as I drive
With Heaven on my mind.

CHORUS:
Heaven on my mind, hell if I know
How you're doing out there
While I'm here alone.
I say I'm doing fine, but the words come out too slow.
Heaven's on my mind, and it's hell on my lonely soul.

I missed you when the snow fell, honey,
But I knew the time had come
To stop this missing, start forgetting
The people I used to love.
And I can hardly see—
Even more, I can barely breathe,
And I know I'm just killing time
With Heaven on my mind.

REPEAT CHORUS x2
Track Name: Denver
I've gotta get to where you are.
I know I've wandered much too far.
I called to say I'm on my way—
I'm running back to you.

Times like these, I can't get no rest.
Yeah, work is work, and I've been blessed,
But I can't wait to be beside you
Howling at the moon.

CHORUS:
Denver's on my mind.
You've got me miles high,
Dreaming about you every night,
So I just can't stay gone.
Search the whole world wide,
No better love you'll find.
Nothing like your hand in mine,
So love, I'm coming home.
I'm coming home.
I'm coming home.

Your brown eyes are warm and sweet,
Innocent and fathoms deep,
And they're the only things I see
When I'm out on the road.
I know it's been hard on us,
But I swear you're my only one,
So when you're feeling lonesome,
Know you never are alone.

REPEAT CHORUS

So even when it's getting rough,
Even if you've had enough,
Know of all the things I love,
You're what drives me on.

REPEAT CHORUS
Track Name: Little Things
A shoebox in my closet—I wrote your name in blue ink on it
With that marker you'd forgotten in the car I wrecked last spring.
I know some might judge me for these letters I'm still reading
Though you're younger brother's older than you ever got to be.

A faded cotton t-shirt folded neatly in my dresser,
Wrapped in plastic so I never, ever lose the scent of you.
Yeah, sometimes weeks go by that I'm fine, but when I'm not
I breathe in deep enough to rewind and pretend it isn't true.

CHORUS
Well maybe I can't hold you, but I'm always holding onto
All those little things I kept.
The little things you left behind.

A bent up pair of glasses with their lenses full of scratches,
And the metal's chipped and cracking, so I keep them tucked away.
But when I'm feeling lonely, longing for the world you showed me,
I unfold their hinges slowly and they rest upon my face.

REPEAT CHORUS

Some might say to let them go because every life must end,
But if they'd ever lost so much, then they might understand

How maybe I can't hold you, but I'm always holding onto
All those little things I kept. Little things are all that's left.

REPEAT CHORUS
Track Name: To Be With You
I'd drive for miles and miles the wrong way up a one-way street,
Gather everything I've ever had and feed it to the sea.
I'd walk barefoot in the snow across the state of Tennessee,
Just to be with you.

I'd pick up and move to Texas, or to England, or Iraq.
Board that slow boat bound for China in two seconds flat.
Follow anywhere at any time, no questions asked,
Just to be with you.

CHORUS:
Well, I've seen mountain peaks and oceans blue.
I've seen starry nights and black ones, too.
Lovers—I'll admit I've known a few,
And nothing in this world comes close to you.

So I'd go hungry 'til my ribs were poking through my skin.
Be at church by nine each Sunday; commit any sin.
Sign a contract swearing I could never love again,
Just to be with you.

REPEAT CHORUS

I would go to war and fight for you on any front,
Walk a highwire across a canyon with my eyes sewn shut,
Spend my whole giving your heart everything it wants,
Just to be with you.

If I know anything, I know it's true—
I'd do anything just to be with you.
Track Name: Return Policy
You say you want to be the one, 'cause what we've got's so fine.
That no one's treated you so good or made you feel you might
Be doing something right, alright.

You say your sites are set on us; you're done with sweethearts past,
But that it'd be a bit naive to say for sure we'll last.
You won't tempt fate like that, and that's that.

But if you want to take my love
Down from the shelf I've kept it on,
There's something you need to understand.

CHORUS
There's no returns or exchanges on this heart I've been saving
For someone I could trust to be careful.
If you break it you've bought it, and you've already got it
In your hands, so darling, please be gentle.
We could face life together. I would promise forever,
But only if you're promising me, too.
There's no returns or exchanges on this heart I've been saving,
'Cause I know there'd be no getting over you.

You say it's easy being true. It's easy making plans.
And it's so simple trusting you, 'cause we're just like best friends.
Never want this to end. I keep falling again and again.

But if you want to take my love
Down from the shelf I've kept it on,
I do need to make you aware.

REPEAT CHORUS

My return policy says that love like this ain't free,
And mine comes with a few expectations.
Yeah, you'd be free to leave, but you'd leave me to grieve,
And I've had quite enough of that aching.

So if that's pressure you can take,
If you're not scared to raise the stakes,
I'm here and I'm yours now and always.

REPEAT CHORUS

There's no returns or exchanges on this heart I've been saving,
And I know there'll be no getting over you.
Track Name: Braxton County
In Braxton County, beneath a sky of baby blue
Alone on this highway, and every thought's of you.
Of summers golden, of sparking midnight rides,
Remembering as I slow down at the Braxton County line.

In Braxton County, where we both were children once—
Where school bells, sleigh bells, church bells echoed out our naive love—
Your laughter promised to make all my dreams come true,
As autumn's crystal edges crunched beneath your leather boots.

Now what I'd give to call these mountains home.
What I'd give to watch you growing old.

From California, where you gave me strength to go,
Because to a girl of 18, Braxton County has no draw,
I often missed you, counted miles in between,
And knew in Braxton County, my true love would wait for me.

Now what I'd give to call these mountains home.
What I'd give to watch you growing old.
What I'd give to call these mountains home.
What I'd give to watch you growing old.

But even hearts of gold won't wait forever, so I've learned.
And even dreams I've sold can't patch up bridges I have burned.
"Sorry" can't take back a single moment once its turned,
And even hearts of gold don't beat forever—so I've learned.

In Braxton County, where I always thought we'd meet,
I hope you're resting darling, and I hope you dream of me.
Because I see still see you every time I close my eyes
And hear you on the breeze that blows down
Through these whispering pines

I'd like to see you, but I break each time I try.
So I hit the gas and roll on past the Braxton County line.
Track Name: Orange Tree
If I had an orange tree,
Shady, tall, and evergreen,
We could pick the sweetest fruit,
Share a book upon its roots.
Would you spend your afternoon with me,
If I had an orange tree?

Oh, I can't give you oceans blue,
But I'll save all my for you.

If I had a heart of sand,
Caving like unsturdy land,
I'd still try my very best
To keep my ear pressed to your chest
And catch your worries in my hands.
If I had a heart of sand.

Oh, I can't give you oceans blue,
But I'll save all my love for you.
No, I can't give you oceans blue,
But I'll save all my love for you.

Ooh . . .

If I had the whole damn sea—
Miles wide and fathoms deep—
Would you roll in with the tide?
Could I keep you by my side,
And let the waves rock us to sleep
If I had the whole damn sea?

If I had an orange tree
Just like the ones you long to see . . .
If I could take your dreams of home
And make them true right where we are,
My darling—then would you stay with me?
If I had an orange tree.
If I had an orange tree.
Track Name: Heloise
Drawn by the magic of those books in your cabinet,
I fell into this habit and into your arms.
I was young and yearning—
Not a child but still learning,
Unafraid of the hurting we knew might come.
Ooh...

You were well respected for your fresh perspectives,
For your recollections of intricate things.
So we vowed we'd be careful,
And you swore you'd be gentle
Until, "Yes darling, yes" was all I could say.

When you asked, "Heloise, Heloise
Meet me in the churchyard.
Heloise, Heloise my love."

Once you promised you could keep me honest,
As if our bond weren't stronger than all their old laws.
But I said, "Damn what's proper.
Pin me down on that altar.
Wreck my world if you've gotta.
Just tell me I'm yours.

And whisper, 'Heloise,'" Heloise
Echoes through the churchyard.
"Heloise, Heloise my love."
Yeah, you said, "Heloise, Heloise,
Meet me in the churchyard.
Heloise, Heloise my love."

Oh, the Christians shamed us and my father blamed us,
But all the love we made was worth every ounce of pain.

Drawn by the beauty of these halls where you knew me;
Though you're long lost to me, I have no regrets.
And when my life is over, I'll still be pining for you.
May they lay my bones down on you
And never forget

When you asked, "Heloise, Heloise
Meet me in the churchyard.
Heloise, Heloise my love."

Yeah, you said, "Heloise, Heloise
Meet me in the churchyard.
Heloise, Heloise my love."

You whispered, "Heloise, Heloise,
Meet me in the churchyard.
Heloise, Heloise my love."

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